AFTER-WORDS ~ by Donna Shanley

“A story is a flighty thing,” he’d say, “see how an open book looks like a soaring bird.”

The first sign that he was turning into one was the question mark at the corner of his mouth. Then the flashes of spidery black light above his head, as thoughts scribbled themselves into being.

She told him weighty tales of castles and oaks, monuments and mammoths, hoping they would bind him to the earth, to her. But she’d seen a word circling him while her hands shaped bread and her mouth shaped poems. A wanderer’s word. The day he vanished, it hung like imprinted smoke above his empty chair.

She searched the sunset for him, and the dawn. A page unfolded against the sky; fluttered to her window like a parchment moth. It settled on the sill with a high sweet chime, the flick of a fingernail on crystal. One word brush-stroked on the paper: Bellbird. Others followed in a flock, filling the air with crisp wing-beats. A solitary word or letter on each, rimmed with frost or leaf-mold, or scored, deep and red, trailing sparks.

She plucked them from the trees and the shore, breathing in their birthplaces.

Desire: the slip and glitter of panting deserts

War:  poppies, unpetalled

Quiet: chrysanthemums and cloud-shawled mountains;

H: the mouse-tracked dust of a hermit’s cell. He’d once told her how he’d woken from a dream and tried to remember a place called Home, and couldn’t.

She imagined him everywhere, writing himself into the future. She shouted stories of love and return as she scattered the pages on the table among half-eaten suppers and withered flowers. Her hands moving swiftly, she captured them under pebbles, seashells, and cracked china cups, fearful that they would fly away and leave her with only the blankness of his absence.

One morning, she found the papers curling in invisible fire. The wanderer’s word flickered once, starry, in the ashes, then went out. Her mouth shaping no, her fingers shaping hope, she ran to the place of wraiths and unfinished wishes; knelt and pressed her ear to the grey slab, afraid to hear the thud of a full stop. Heard instead the whisper in the grass. The rustle of a graveyard ghost is just the sound of another page turning.

***

Donna Shanley lives in Vancouver, where she can see mountains and sometimes, a half-inch of ocean. Her stories have appeared in Vestal Review, Ellipsis Zine, and Flash Frontier.   

Two Questions for Stephen Tuttle

We recently published Stephen Tuttle’s stunning “Rescue.”

Here, we ask him two questions about his story:

1) That last line is so devastating and beautiful: ” Anything, we tell ourselves, that might distract him from the goodness of his heart.” Do you think the parents will manage to distract their son? Or is he already irrevocably connected to that goodness in his heart?

Not a chance. To my mind, the problem of this story is one familiar to all parents, teachers, mentors, guides, etc. Namely, what to do when a child (or student or whatever), sees a situation in ideal terms, but you see it more practically. I’m embarrassed to consider the times someone has wanted to do the right/best/good thing and I’ve been the one to say, I know that’s right and good, but it’s also expensive or time-intensive, or inconvenient. In the end, I think we all know what it means to be on either side of this equation. Here’s hoping we might be the dog-loving child a bit more often than we are the distracting parent.

2) The whole story is a heartbreaker, from start to finish (well, except for the expensive video game system, that sounds lovely!). The parents, here, clearly struggle to navigate this situation. Do you think they will learn to cope better? Or, as the story hints, will they simply try to distract their child from “goodness”?

Sadly, if they figure it out at all, I think it will come a beat too late. This is not an autobiographical piece, per se, but I know well enough the expectation that a child will grow up and become a bit more realistic, an expectation so often followed by a lament for their loss of innocence or magic or wonder. In that sense, I think the “goodness” of this story is an impractical but lovely thing that we can choose to accept despite its impracticality. Alternatively, and like these parents, there’s the option to distract from that impulse, which is easier in the short term but comes with a loss of something essential and beautiful. 

Rescue ~ by Stephen Tuttle

Our son came home with this nearly dead dog. He watches these videos on the internet where people find wounded, abandoned animals and rush them to a veterinarian, and before you know it a dog or a bird is running or flapping around its forever home. We tried to say no but looked at his face and lost courage. Sure, we said, let’s get this guy the help he needs. Then we put this flea-ridden bag of bones in the car, taking care not to touch any of its mange or its open wounds, and we drove to a place that said it could take care of dogs like this. It could die within the hour, the vet said, but asked if we’d like him to care for it anyway. He didn’t know what it would cost, but at a minimum, we were looking at several hundred dollars. We looked at our son and we looked at the dog and we looked at the vet. The vet was shaking his head just a little like he was thinking we should cut our losses. But we looked at our son looking at the dog, and we said do it, spare no expense, heal this dog. Later, we buried the dog in our backyard because it was cheaper than cremation. We asked our son what the dog’s name was, and he said he didn’t know. We asked where he found it, and he said he couldn’t remember. For his birthday, we plan to buy him an expensive video game system. Anything, we tell ourselves, that might distract him from the goodness of his heart.

***

Stephen Tuttle’s fiction and prose poetry have appeared in Ploughshares, The Threepenny Review, The Southern Review, The Nation, The Gettysburg Review, and elsewhere.

Two Questions for Kim Steutermann Rogers

We recently published Kim Steutermann Rogers’ whirlwind “What Happened to Meg?

Here, we ask her two questions about her story:

1) I like how the two tragedies play off each other here — the tragedy of the tornado from the narrators’ childhoods as the backdrop to the tragedy of what has become of Meg’s life. The wreckage after the tornado against the wreckage after Meg’s abuse. The impaled cow against the impaled man. Powerful stuff! Do you think the tornado somehow played into Meg’s (and the narrators’) experiences? Or was it completely incidental?

The tornado and its aftermath changed everything for Meg and very little for the narrators. Before the tornado, Meg and her friends were all kids being kids, laughing and playing games. Then, the tornado orphaned Meg, and in a powerful twist of fate, Meg’s life changed immeasurably. She lost her parents, her friends, and her future.

2) And speaking of playing off each other! The title against that last line — I love the implied guilt in both. What Happened to Meg? lets the reader know these friends lost touch with her, even after seeing her at the reunion and What happened to us? lets us know — they realize it. How do you think they will handle their guilty feelings?

I love that you picked up the play against the title and last line! Sadly, I don’t think their guilt will cause them to change their behavior. Not now. They’ve been walking away from the reality that is Meg’s life—that could just as easily have been their lives—for decades. If they were going to help Meg, they would have done it years ago. The only difference is now they are able to admit how drastically they let down their friend. But continue walking away? Yes.

What Happened to Meg? ~ by Kim Steutermann Rogers

At our 20-year reunion, we’ve gathered, this time in a courtroom, Meg at the defendant’s table, face as rough as tree bark, eyes like knotholes in her head. The prosecutor shows photos to the jury, one of Meg with a man at Twin Pines, a motel still patched with plywood from the EF5 tornado that tore through our southwest Missouri town when we were kids. Meg’s sitting on the floor propped against the bed, one hand holding a bloodied cigarette, the fingers of the other hand bent in a multitude of unnatural ways. The man lies behind her, impaled through the gut with a knife. What happened to Meg, we ask each other, we who only return home every 10 years.

After high school, we’d drifted apart, leaving town for college and careers, among us a gynecologist in St. Louis, professor of engineering at Washington University, and master contractor building monster cabins for the mega-wealthy at Lake of the Ozarks. Meg stuck close to our hometown, waiting tables after bouncing around from one aunt and uncle to another. We heard stories of Meg closing Donna Mae’s Diner each night and heading to the lake. We heard she’d pull out a lawn chair and drink whatever 12-pack of beer was on sale at Main Street Drive-Thru Liquor, chain-smoking Virginia Slims, the same brand her mother used to buy. We heard stories of a string of traveling salesmen. What happened to Meg, we asked the last time we came to town for our 10-year reunion, when she showed up, one eye tomato-red, her upper lip split, and purple splotches around her neck.

We’d all met at camp the summer before middle school. We were at the lake playing canteen bucket brigade when the sky turned eggplant and sirens pierced our skulls, prompting counselors barely older than us to shepherd the group to a nearby church basement. We spent the night huddled in humidity, clutching each other’s hands after the lone flashlight among us went dead, and crying for our mommies and daddies. When firefighters freed us the next morning into the arms of all but one set of parents, we blinked in the sunshine, the sky scrubbed clean, to find the church’s roof gone, trees stripped of leaves and life, a cow munching on grass, no mind to the metal fence post sticking through its midsection. 

What happened to us?

***

Kim Steutermann Rogers lives with her husband and 16-year-old dog Lulu in Hawaii. Her essay, “Following the Albatross Home” was recognized as notable in Best American Travel Writing. Her journalism has published in National Geographic, Audubon, and Smithsonian; and her prose in Gone Lawn, The Citron Review, Atticus Review, CHEAP POP, Hippocampus, and elsewhere. She was awarded residencies at Storyknife Writers Retreat in Alaska in 2016 and 2021 and Dorland Mountain Arts in 2022. Find her @kimsrogers.

Two Questions for Dawn Tasaka Steffler

We recently published Dawn Tasaka Steffler’s poignant “Why you drive seven hours to Yreka to check up on your little sister after she moved there with your Mom.”

Here, we ask her two questions about her story:

1) I love the details you’ve chosen to reveal the narrator’s (and the little sister’s) life — they’re so specific and poignant. How did you manage to balance giving the reader just the right amount of detail without over-revealing the characters’ stories?

I think the balance of detail happened pretty organically. Trying to fit three people and almost two decades into fewer than 300 words meant I had to be selective and put my white space to work. But, God it was fun! I spent quite a bit of time moving the sentences around like a jigsaw puzzle, trying to find the “right” cause and effect to the web of interactions. Ultimately, each sentence had to pass the following test: is it its own self-contained universe? And does it put pressure on the sentence that follows?

2) For me, I feel like the narrator is a brother/son (knowing about her name on the boy’s bathrooms at school, being ignored while playing with the train set, the way the mother took the sister for pedicures but the narrator nowhere), but is it possible that the narrator is actually a sister/daughter?

Ha, Cathy, you’re not the only one who has asked that question! This piece originated in a Sarah Freligh workshop and her first read was of two sisters. In revision I tried to embed details that would clarify — artfully — that this is a brother and sister, because in my mind’s eye it was always this way. But I re-read it now and see how the two sisters still lurk in the shadows. So, yeah, I guess it is possible. And I actually love how this piece really seems to want to hang on to that potential. So good job, flash piece, you win!

Why you drive seven hours up to Yreka to check up on your little sister after she moved there with your Mom ~ by Dawn Tasaka Steffler

Because Thanksgiving is next week. Because in the back seat is a grocery bag full of glossy college pamphlets that came to the house. Because last month you mailed your sister a birthday card and it came back undeliverable. Because your dad said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if your mom is using again.” Because your mom’s most recent Facebook post was about how “Pluto is shifting into Aquarius for the first time in over 200 years and the Good Lord knows I’m ready for a fresh start and transformation!!” Because your mom moved up there last summer with a boyfriend she met in rehab. Because your dad yelled at your sister, “If you’re so smart, why are you so fucking stupid?!” Because your sister scored a freakin perfect score on the National Merit Scholarship Qualifying Test. Because your sister’s name is written on all the walls of all the boys’ bathroom stalls at school. Because you were jealous when your sister got to move to Florida with your mom after the divorce and smug when she came back halfway through the school year. Because your mom always took your sister out for pedicures but she never took you anywhere. Because your mom promised to help build train tracks for your Thomas the Train set but she didn’t, she put on a video of Thomas the Train instead, then sat on the sofa with your sister, teaching her how to french braid her Barbie dolls’ hair. Because your mom read you Goodnight Moon every night at bedtime until one day your sister was born and she stopped because was so sad all the time.

***

Dawn Tasaka Steffler is a fiction writer from Hawaii who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. She stopped in Yreka once for sandwiches while on a road trip. Her work appears in Heimat Review, SoFloPoJo and Many Nice Donkeys; upcoming in Flash Frog, Pithead Chapel, Alternative Milk Magazine, and MicroLit Almanac. Find her on Twitter @DawnSteffler.

Two Questions for Abe Mezrich

We recently published Abe Mezrich’s powerful “Preservation as Violence.”

Here, we ask him two questions about his story:

1) In your author’s note, you touch on the various depictions of salt. What I’m loving is this idea of preservation. The title refers to it as “a violence,” but do you think there could also be something of a protection in it too? Which is to say, is Lot’s wife being preserved in more than one way?

That’s a really interesting question. I think one way to consider an answer is to look at something that everyone in the Bliblical story is either protected from, or implicitly hiding from. I’m speaking of the sexual violence that pervades. The men of the town want to rape the angels. Lot offers his own daughters to the men. The coda to the Biblical story — which I’m not sure is as well-known— is that Lot’s daughters get Lot so drunk they each seduce him on successive evenings. All the sex in this story is cruel. If you’d be protected in Sodom, you’d be protected from that.

To make a leap here: Salt — and I think I’m half-remembering an idea of Mary Douglas — can be a counter to fertility. Fertile things grow and grow; salt puts that growth to a halt. And as I’m not the first to observe, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah comes on the heels of those same angels promising the barren Sarah that she will give birth to a son. If Sodom is sexually violent, then perhaps it’s taking that miracle of fertility and going berserk. And if Lot’s wife is turning to salt, she’s taking all of this awfulness in and she’s innoculating herself against it. Salt protects against the cruelty that comes — or that can come — of sex.

Is that idea of protection present in my own piece? I’m not sure — I’ll leave it to readers to decide. But as a reader of the Bible I’d say it’s definitely there in the original story.

2) I love the agency that you give to Lot’s wife here — you make her something whole and human and real that was missing from her origin. This may seem off-topic but, if you could name her, what would her name be?

This answer is a bit of a cop out, but I looked it up: there’s an ancient Midrash that her name is Idit or Irit — depending on the tradition. 

Whatever her name is or was, being nameless in the Bible can be a symbol of mystery and power. I’m reminded of the opening of the book of Exodus: the Israelite slavery is beginning, darkness is closing in, and Moses’ mother — nameless at first — defies a genocidal order and decides to hide her baby. Sometimes anonymity is a sign of absolute power: Here is the whole world naming you, pinning you down, and you decide instead to be an Everyperson, a power against the powers. Maybe that’s part of why we’re so fixated on Lot’s wife. The world is literally crumbling all around her, everyone surviving is running away, and she’s staying put. She won’t play the game. Which is in the end why it might be so suiting that she’s nameless. Perhaps, then, I’d simply name her Strength.

Preservation is a Violence ~ by Abe Mezrich

Lot’s Wife

When newcomers came the people of the city would take an axe to their legs. Not to amputate their limbs but to cut anyone new down to the right height, the height they were meant to be. The people of the city would chop their legs or else stretch their backs until they grew.

That is the story anyway. I cannot confirm it. It didn’t happen to us when we arrived. But I know why they tell it: because the springs flowed gently there and brought fresh water. Because the crops grew in endless sweet rows. Because that place was Eden, and everyone who lived there was Adam and Eve, there to till the garden and to guard it. And if you are the guardian of the Garden, your job is to keep it just so.

When we took the strangers in our neighbors enveloped us like an angry wall. They gathered around the house in the night and clawed to get in. When my husband begged our neighbors not to hurt our guests everyone told him Shut your mouth you foreigner shut your mouth.

In Eden, God set angels with flaming swords to block the entrance path. You should have seen our neighbors that night, all those angels.

When I was a girl my mother taught me how to salt meat. Scoop up the salt just so, she would say, and rub it across the flesh. Salt the meat right and you can keep it fresh for what seems like forever.

I’m thinking of my mother as I’m following my husband and my daughters, the strange new men leading us all. They’re leading us to a brand new city. My family – my husband and daughter – are up ahead. If I follow them I can start again. My husband is old but my daughters can walk quickly. They are going to where they can find new men, raise new babies. I can help them. 

I can help them but I’m thinking of the salt. I’m thinking of how our sons-in-law laughed when we told them the end was here. How when it was his turn to go my husband tarried and then begged they take us to somewhere not far away. Spread the salt like this, my mother would tell me. The flavor will stay. Block the path, God told the angels, and Eden will stay like Eden forever.

Back home the brimstone is raining down. The men of the city are hollering and running to and fro. They were the angels with the swords ablaze but suddenly they are on fire themselves, they are the new flaming swords.

I’m watching the men even though the strangers warned us not to look back. I am doing what I have done so long, what we all did in that place: I’m keeping my gaze fixed just there.

When my mother taught me about salting she would say Be very careful. Too much salt, she would tell me, and your tongue could burn. Too much salt and you’ll ruin the meat. Too much salt, my mother would tell me, wiping the excess off her fingers and off mine—too much and the dish can last and last, but you’ll dry the life away.

Author’s note

This piece plays with Biblical and Midrashic depictions of the wickedness, destruction – and lushness like the garden of Eden – of Sodom; as well as Biblical depictions of salt as both tied to posterity (the Covenant of Salt) and also a weapon of war that left soil infertile (sowing the land with salt). I invented the character of Lot’s wife’s mother.

The piece is in conversation with Sabrina Orah Mark’s amazing essay Children with Mothers Don’t Eat Houses.

***

Abe Mezrich is the author of three books of poetry on the Jewish Bible, most recently Words for a Dazzling Firmament from Ben Yehuda Press. His words appear in Lost Balloon and elsewhere. Learn more at AbeMezrich.com. Follow him at @AbeMezrich_Alef.

Two Questions for Ayla Marsden

We recently published Ayla Marsden’s stunning “60s Thai Funk Radio.”

Here, we ask her two questions about her story:

1) I really love the voice here — it feels so true to the high school experience! How do you balance the confessional feel of the narrator’s tone with the act of storytelling here?

I like to think that it was less about balancing the two and more that this story couldn’t have been told the way it was if it was from any other character’s perspective. While I was writing I felt like the narrator’s voice came suddenly to me and then sort of just took on a life of its own – it felt fully formed even though it wasn’t a perspective or setting that I’d written from before. Also, I definitely wanted to focus more on evoking strong images and feelings instead of trying to create a coherent narrative.

2) The narrator’s mom is such a great character too. I feel like a lot of readers will see glimpses of their own mothers in her. Do you?

Not my own mother, but more so an amalgamation of mothers from the small town I grew up in. With her character – in the brief time that she appears – I wanted to attempt to capture the sense of sadness and monotony that many people feel being trapped in towns like these, and the cycles of poverty, abuse, and addiction that often plague these places.