We recently published Mustapha Enesi’s powerful “at your mother’s funeral.”
Here, we ask him two questions about his story:
1) This is such a moving portrait of loss — I love the progression here, almost like the steps of a dance. How do you picture the movement of this husband and father’s grief?
Dealing with grief is never easy. And it is amazing how everyone experiences grief in unique ways. In this story, the movement of the husband and father’s grief is rapid. Even though things are taking place over a long period of time, the father’s grief makes the time that passes feel short.
2) In the end, this man can’t let go of his pain and becomes swallowed up in it. Do you think there was — is — an opportunity for him to set himself free?
I don’t think there was — is — an opportunity for him to set himself free. No one plans for loss. Even when we all know that it will someday come for us, we don’t plan for it. Loss is a distant thing. And when we lose loved ones, the pain of the loss forever lives with us. Often, we find remnants of them in photographs or shared memories or something they loved doing or their favorite food. And we go back to their graves to remind them of our love. The pain never goes away; it lives with us.